Tag Archive: recipe

Eat This.

If I have a favorite category of food, it’s “things on bread.” I can put almost anything on bread and be happy: Nutella, duck fat, cannellini spread, whatever (but, um, not at the same time). This recipe is one of my favorites, my best guess of a recipe that I modeled after something I had at a tapas restaurant once. I nommed the hell out of it last night while watching Sharktopus with Tony – good times.

The recipe is for a Spicy Tomato Goat Cheese:

You need:
2-3 tomatoes, seeded and chopped
a drizzle of extra virgin olive oil
4-12 or so cloves of garlic, to whatever taste you like (I tend to go really heavy on the garlic, but I’m a nut), finely chopped
roughly 1.5-2 T tomato paste (if you don’t use tomato paste often, it’s well worth getting one of the tubes of the stuff rather than busting open a can every time you need a tablespoon – the stuff in the tube is higher quality and lasts for a year or two, so if you’re not going through much of it, it’s a big money saver to go tube)
a sprinkle of red pepper flakes
a handful of chopped fresh herbs (of the oregano/thyme/parsley-ish variety – whatever works) and or a hefty sprinkle of dried herbs
1 small log of goat cheese

1 baguette, sliced, drizzled with extra virgin olive oil and toasted – or other bread of your choice (baguette is my personal love with this)

Heat up a drizzle – say 1-2 T – of olive oil in a frying pan to medium-low/medium heat, and throw in the garlic. The idea is to get the oil hot enough to cook the garlic but not so hot as to burn it. Once the garlic has been cooking for 3-4 minutes, move it to the side and toss in some red pepper flakes. You want these no matter what because they add really nice flavor, but adjust the amount to whatever heat level you like. I tend to throw in about a teaspoon here – it makes it hot, but not HOT – I’m kinda a babymouth when it comes to heat. Let the red pepper flakes cook in the oil for about 30 seconds and then mix everything around and let it go for about another minute. It will smell AWESOME.

Turn the broiler on to high (this is usually when I slam the bread in the oven to toast for a minute while I keep cooking the tomato mixture).

Then move everything off to a side again and squirt the tomato paste into an open area of the pan, mooshing it into the oil so that it begins to pick up some heat and flavor. Let it go for about 30 seconds to develop some flavor, and then stir everything back together again. If you’re using dried herbs, add then now. Then toss in the tomatoes. The tomatoes will start releasing their juices in a couple of minutes. Let them go until everything is sort of spicy-slightly-runny-tomato-garlic-awesome, and then pull it off the heat. If you’re using fresh herbs, toss them in right as the tomatoes are done.

Take the goat cheese and put it in a medium-sized ramekin or small casserole dish. Pour the tomato mixture on top of it. Put the dish under the broiler for a few minutes until the goat cheese starts to melt and the tomatoes start to caramelize a bit on top.

Be careful about the goat cheese dish, since it’s likely to be really hot. To eat, spread some of the goat cheese/tomato awesomeness onto bread. Enjoy. Nom.

How to make crack

At the moment, I’m procrastinating on cleaning, which I promised I would do and which needs to get done so that I can let myself go get Kiersten White’s Paranormalcy  and Cassandra Clare’s Clockwork Angel.  However, I’m having a “clean ALL the things D: ” moment, so I thought I’d provide a recipe for another of my favorite writing fuels, some lovelywonderful stuff my family named crack.  Crack is so named because our collective inability to stop eating it resembles some other people’s addiction to a different substance of the same name.

So here goes:
– Take a large bowl.  Put in somewhere between 1/4-1/2 stick of butter.  Stick this in the microwave and nuke it for about 30 seconds until the butter starts to go all melty.  Pull it out of the microwave and swirl the butter around the sides of the bowl.
– Add in a 16 oz bag, or 2 10 oz bags, of marshmallows.  On top of the marshmallows, sprinkle a liberal amount of chocolate chips, and then add a large-ish glop of peanut butter.  (Yes, that really is how I measure this.  I’m thinking the chocolate chips are probably in the 1/3 cup range and the peanut butter is probably in the 3/4c-1c range, but I’m just guessing.  “Liberal amount” and “large-ish glop” really do seem more accurate.)
– Heat the whole mess in the microwave for 2-2:30 minutes, until the marshmallows are huge and puffy.
           -MEANWHILE (it is important to do this either beforehand or, if you’re like me, scramble to do it while the marshmallows are puffing):  make sure you’ve got your stirring spoon (I use an ice cream spade because it’s sturdy as hell), your Rice Krispies (you need LOTS of these!), and your greased (large) cookie sheet (or jelly roll pan) out and ready to go.
– When the marshmallows are large and puffy, take them out of the microwave and stir the whole mess up to get the marshmallows, peanut butter and chocolate chips all mixed up.  Then, without wasting any time (because timewasting means that this stuff gets damned near impossible to stir), pour in a bunch of Rice Krispies.  Like, 3-4 cups+ worth.  Then stir like your arm strength depends on it. 
– Continue to add Rice Krispies and stir until you’ve got the marshmallow goop/Rice Krispie balance where you like it.  Then pour and scrape the mess out onto the greased cookie sheet (it really needs to be greased, else you’ll never get your crack off of the tray when you want to eat it). 
– Also important: grease your hands.  I keep an end of a stick of butter for this purpose.  Once the glop of goop is on the pan, grease your hands and then press it down so that it covers the pan and is whatever thickness you like in your crack.
– Let cool and enjoy. And try not to eat the whole pan in a day.  Good luck with that.

This stuff is arguably healthy, because it has Rice Krispies in it (and Rice Krispies are allowed by whatever government agency to claim that they’re healthy), because it has peanut butter in it (yay protein!), and because it has chocolate in it (which, as I proved beyond doubt in an earlier post, is one of the healthiest and best foods you can have).  Share and enjoy, people.

A Guacamole Recipe for You

I’m feeling momentarily uninspired on the writing procrastination front because my cat woke me up several times in the middle of the night because she wanted to play.  Therefore, I’m half-zonked.  I also haven’t had much time to write in the past day and a half, so I can’t direct you to my writing procrastination activities from this time.  There haven’t been any.

Therefore, for your afternoon’s entertainment I’ve decided to give you my guacamole recipe, because it’s still summer and therefore still warm enough to want guac.  Here goes:

– 1 bag of tortilla chips
– 1/2 red onion, finely chopped.  No crying.
– 1 chili pepper of whatever variety you’d like, seeded or not, all depending on what heat level you’d like (I tend to use a seeded jalapeno because I have something of a babbymouth)
– 1 clove garlic, smashed and then minced
– 1/2 a bunch (or a whole bunch, if you, like me, think it tastes lovely and fresh and not at all of soap) of cilantro, finely chopped
– 2 avocadoes, cut in half, ginormous seed removed, lovely smooth creamy green insides taken from within and added to bowl, one ginormous seed kept hanging about what will keep the guac from turning icky brown colors
– 1-2 limes, squeezed over the avocado also what will keep the guac from turning icky brown colors

Add everything in the list, excepting the bag of tortilla chips and reserved ginormous avocado seed, into a bowl with the lovely smooth creamy green avocado insides and then mash and stir until it reaches whatever guacamole consistency you prefer.  I like it mostly-but-not-all mashed up, because I like getting little chunks of avocado in with everything else.  When you’re done mashing, throw the reserved ginormous avocado seed into the guac and ignore it.  It will keep your guac a lovely green color for a couple of days, should the guac last that long (mine usually doesn’t).  Then open the bag of chips and chow down.

You can probably add tomatoes, but I don’t.  Just because.  I also think it would be awesome to throw some lobster in, but I probably won’t be doing that any time soon as I’m a) funemployed and thus not really in a financial position to buy any lobster and b) living in Kansas, where fresh lobster is rather harder (although not impossible) to come by than it was when I was located closer to a coastline.  But lobster in guac is indeed awesome, and would help you pretend (should you so desire) that guacamole is a full meal rather than a really fun appetizer/condiment.

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