Lulzing at the ads

NOT A NANO POST FOR ONCE.

I have successfully confused whatever program it is that programs what ads I get on facebook that I was presented with the following mishmash today:
– “FREE Baby Samples” – because I am female and over 30 and therefore must have a babby. Groan.
– “Fantastic Sams of Gardner, KS is giving away $7 haircuts!” – because I haven’t listed my job and don’t talk about it much, so they must (correctly, admittedly) assume that my ass is broke – although why they’re trying to send me to tiny Gardner for *anything* when I’m probably closer to Lawrence and Kansas City is beyond me. Seriously.
– “Do it all the Write Way” – some sort of set of tools to take me “from initial concept to finished novel.” Complete with a picture of a woman with rolled-up sleeves and arms up like she’s showing off her biceps standing behind a MacBook Pro, as though novel writing involved lots of pumping of fists (rather than gnashing of teeth and wearing away of stomach lining from caffeine and alcohol and angst). Also, if it’s not Scrivener, I don’t want it. I do kinda want Scrivener, but I don’t know about flipping to a brand new program 6 days into NaNo.
– “Become a Personal Trainer” – well, I’ve listed working out as an activity I enjoy, so maybe that’s it?

Actually, what I find funny about these ads in combination is that the facebook ad sensor seems to have picked up on my general “what the fuck do I do with my life” malaise that I’ve had for months (years?) now, without having picked up on my new part-time beer job. Also, like I said, I’m over 30 and female and therefore must be in want of a babby.

Best thing: there aren’t any diet ads! Apparently me marking every diet ad that’s shown up for over a year as “offensive” (do-able by clicking on the x in the corner of the ad and then telling them why you don’t like it) is working. No more “Oprah’s Miracle Acai Berry Diet!” for me!

And of course, the
Obligatory NaNo update, day 6 (morning):

Cups of coffee consumed: 3 mochas, 5 cups of regular coffee, 1 chai
Number of meals forgotten about/eaten late: 3
Glasses of booze consumed: 4
Words written: 11601 (before I’ve even gotten started today!)
Weirdest Google Search since the last update: Wistman’s Wood (images) (<— totes search that. SO COOL LOOKING)

UPDATE: Midnight, day 6: 13312 words.
Midnight, day 7: 14853 words.
Midnight, day 8 (HOW HAS IT BEEN 8 DAYS ALREADY): 16825 words.
Midnight, day 9: 18190 words.
Midnight, day 10: 18831 words, having not written at all since 2am. I NEED TO WRITE NOW.
Midnight, day 11: 21227 words.
Midnight, day 12: 22412 words.
Midnight, day 13: 23327 words and no time to write.

The T.W.I.N.K.I.E.S. Project

As a counterpoint to my last post, I’m passing on the link just given to me in the comment to that post.

It’s the Twinkies Project (punctuated like it is in the title to the post – I typed it out that way once and thought ‘ah, screw it’ to doing it that way again). It’s a bunch of “experiments” done on Twinkies to see how they respond to sets of experimental conditions (read: the site authors decided to burn Twinkies and write faux-science-y results)(which are awesome). There’s even a link that gives you results in haiku form. Brilliant.

And, because this is WEIRDING ME OUT BIG TIME: who the hell knew that Twinkies are, and I quote directly from the site linked to above: “”Twinkies” and the “Twinkie the Kid character” are registered trademarks of
Interstate Brands Corporation, 12 East Armour Blvd., Kansas City, MO 64111.”

TWINKIES ARE OWNED BY A KANSAS CITY COMPANY?
First thought: I should try to work for them.
Second thought: I kinda hate Twinkies. Maybe I should reconsider.

Fun with Irony

For a group that is so insistent that everyone in America speak English fluently, the Tea Party has had some interesting “whoopsies” at rallies.  These were collected on flickr by a user named Pargon, who calls this phenomenon “Teabonics,” defined as follows: “These are signs seen primarily at Tea Party Protests.  They all feature ‘creative’ spelling or grammar.  This new dialect of the English language shall be known as “Teabonics.”

Enjoy.  There are some doozies.

Linkage courtesy of Dr. B., who has been on a roll lately in providing me with quality A+ lulz.

Note to any Tea Partiers who may somehow trip across this blog:  I don’t think *all* of you are incapable of spelling/using the proper grammatical rules of this language you claim to love so much any more than I think *all* of you are racist idiots. From a conservative economic standpoint, I’m sure you all have some valid points.  However, for the Tea Partiers out there who *aren’t* racist idiots, I think it might behoove you to find other non-racist non-idiots to share your ideology with.  Sadly, the people who show up at your rallies don’t do much for your image.